Just another saturday night out

Here I am writing another blog after a tiring day. I just got back from KLCC after watching a movie “Fun With Dick and Jane” it was really funny, I had some really good laughs. I took the LRT and manage to rush to KLCC and grab the tickets just before the movie started at 7.20pm. I bought a packet of cheezels and some Ice lemon tea, had a real good seat too… right in the middle. It was nice.

I had a few offers how to occupy my weekend. My Aunty had complimentary tickets to watch Puteri Gunung Ledang today and if I’m not mistaken the tickets were priced at RM150. I reluctantly turned down the invitation due to personal reasons, luckily she manage to get someone who wanted to go and didn’t waste the tickets. Chris suggested that we go Captains Cabin but I wasn’t in a mood for that so I decided not to go. I originally wanted to watch a movie anyway. I didn’t want to be alone at home since my mother isn’t around

I went to the gym with Azie earlier this morning. I’m still not well and wanted to skip todays session but then poor Azie has been going alone for the past two weeks so I though I go anyway just to accompany her. I did some light exercises only… spend most of my time making full use of the wonderful facilities they have there.

I got a full day lined up tomorrow … better get some sleep other wise I might not wake up tomorrow :o) Until my next blog… Adios!

Valentines Day!

While darthvadai writes about Valentines day being used as a opportunity to commercialize the whole issue of love. I think I’ll write about what it symbolizes to me, I think it means peace, love, respect and forgiveness. Why do I say that.. well I think we must all have peace in our hearts and minds to overcome difficulties in our relationships, to give our undying love and affection, respect for one another in terms of our feelings and opinions and last of all forgiveness… everyone makes mistakes that’s what makes us all human.. no one is perfect.

Every February 14th, people all over the world would exchange gifts between love ones all in the name of St. Valentine? Nah it’s become a custom that no matter what race you are the day itself is symbolic. Yes sure you can show your appreciation to your love one any other day but then not everybody remembers to do so. It’s nice to have a day specially for love.. Somehow everything seems so meaningful. It’s nice to receive flowers, candy, cards or gifts and give lost of cuddles and smooches. Nothing wrong with making someone you love happy. It may just be one day but they will remember it the whole year or even a lifetime.

My relationships have always started and ended before 14th February for some reason…heheh maybe it’s not meant to be. I have to admit I would like to know how it feels like to be showered with flowers and gifts from a love one, go out on a romantic dinner and feel special for a day.. hehe. It may seem like I’m living in a fairy tale.. hheheh well it’s all in my head. For someone who has never experienced what it’s like to actually celebrate Valentines day. I do understand that this day can bring lots of happiness and joy for those who celebrate it.

I remember my first Valentines day card that I received from Vadai and Chris 2 years ago when I first got to know them. It was very thoughtful of them I appreciate it so much and it made me very happy. . In fact I still have that card kept in a box with all the memorable things I received over the years… it’s my treasure!.

Anyway, for what it’s worth I would like to wish everyone Happy Valentines day! Muah!

Sickening!

Past few days I’ve been under the weather a bit!... had series of migraines since Monday, taken a few panadols and it helped get rid of the pain for a while… woke up Tuesday with even worst migraines and body aches… I knew for sure I was coming down with something… as soon as I got home I took more panadols and went straight to bed. When I woke up in the evening I felt my throat was dry and had no appetite to eat so I continued to sleep till the next morning.

At 3am I was shivering in cold sweat, my body was so warm, whole body was aching and my throat was swollen. I took 2 more panadols and just rested. My mother woke up at 6am and she asked me to call my Aunty and let her know that I was ill… knowing my aunty she will still insist I come to school… so I didn’t bother calling I just got ready and drove to work… luckily the jam wasn’t so bad that day… I felt as if I had no control over my body… I was so weak and couldn’t keep my eyes open. I was a bit careless on the road but luckily I got to school safely.

When I got there I just slept in my class for almost an hour, one of the teachers took my temperature and it was about 40 I think. I had the other teacher to help me with my students, a few times I had to excuse myself from the classroom because I felt like I was going to collapse. I slept for another hour, I seriously couldn’t take it anymore.. My aunty told me to go home early, so I drove straight to the clinic around 1pm.

The doctor said I was having a viral fever… the migraines, ear pain, sinus is cause by my throat infection and on top of all that I was also coming down with a slight flu and cough. I thought to myself “Shit!! What else could I get??” the doctor told me to monitor my fever and she gave me a day off to rest… and ask me to come back if the medication was not effective.

I seriously could not even swallow anything but I had no choice but to eat something before taking the medication so I took 1 slice of bread and drank 2 glasses of 100 plus with my medicine and slept for 5 hours, woke up… repeated the same thing and went to sleep for another 5 hours.. woke up at 3.30am with a fever and took another slice of bread with more 100 plus. I kept waking up every 5 to 6 hours just to take my medicine… I was concern about the fever the whole time and the bloody flem i was coughing out... it was scary.. worried my mother alot. When she got back in the evening and she made some soup with potatoes.. it helped alot, i felt so much better and gained some energy, took my medications again and I didn’t have a fever after that… I stayed up and watched a movie then went back to bed… couldn’t sleep the whole night because of the migraines… I took my medications again and shortly after that I fell asleep.

I was up at 4 am today and just lay there till it was time to get ready and go to work. I’m still not well but I manage to conduct my class as usual just a bit tired… my students were glad to see me… all the complains came in as usual and I had to deal with it one at a time…heheh. As promised I took them down stairs and had a picnic outside… the weather was nice today and it’s very refreshing. The children enjoyed themselves today and I felt much better with their company. One of the parents told me that their son said I was very sick with high fever and I didn’t come to school because I was at the beach having a picnic….heheh. The things children say… so funny.

I had to cancel my therapy sessions with Za this week… I don’t want her to catch what ever I’m having and I’m canceling my appointments at Phillip Wain too. I think a bit more rest will do me good.

Yay it’s Friday, actually I’m feeling much better now, finished all my medication… the fever is gone, body doesn’t ache as much, my migraine isn’t so bad but I still have it, sinus is cleared, the swelling in my throat has gone down a lot.. I had some solid food earlier… feeling very hungry now actually. I don’t want to see bread at least for a few days.. heheh.

As Doctor Rat ordered… Take Those Vitamin C soluble tablets!!! YES SIR!!

Typing Zombie "part 2"

Talk about sleepless nights… I attended the Yoga class today and I actually fell asleep towards the end when I was doing the relaxation/cool down pose and fell asleep in the steam room too. I couldn’t keep my eyes open any longer.

After lunch with Azie I went to Giant with my mother to buy some stuff for tomorrow… I’m treating the teachers for lunch for my belated birthday. Anyway as soon as I got home and kept all the stuff I just striped off all my clothes and landed on the bed… slept for at least 2 hours.

While I was sleeping I had a dream… I dreamt I was at a beach.. I could feel the soft sand, cold water on my feet, The sun rays on my skin and the lovely breeze blowing the trees… it felt so real and I felt so at peace. Unfortunately I woke up and noticed Oscar drooling on my toes and rubbing his face on my feet and the fan blowing directly in my face.. I thought to myself “Cheh!.. kacau.. potong stim only!”

Anyway, I lay in bed and I started to think about the dream that I had… I realized that the beach has always been my most desired place to be, it makes me feel connected with life. The breeze, sand, sun, trees and water, associates with feelings.

During the week I did feel a bit too emotional mainly because I was feeling lonely and depress. Maybe it was the long holiday, maybe it’s because this year my brother, sister and their family didn’t come to visit this holiday, maybe I was in need of attention or maybe just stressed. I don’t know the real reason why I felt the way that I did. I don’t want to feel like that anymore… It’s making me feel so miserable... and I don’t like it!

I feel so much better now… I’m going to continue my sleep… and wake up fresh tomorrow… cant wait for lunch… my mother is cooking Chicken rice and some other stuff as well for the teachers…. Until my next blog .. adios!

Sleepless.. I'm a Typing Zombie

Today makes the 3rd day of sleepless nights. I’m not sure why I can’t sleep but it becoming very taxing. My mother is still away, she will be back early Sunday morning.. Oscar misses her presents…. I miss her too…

I went to Phillip Wain with Azie early this morning… I felt like a walking zombie, I really didn’t feel like doing anything actually but then I promise to go today.. I worked out for about an hour then couldn’t continue anymore.. I felt so tired I had to excuse myself while Azie continued the aerobic classes, I hit the showers and lay down on the water bed hoping to get some sleep.. I lied there for an hour in that dark cold room….
tossing and turning but I just can’t sleep my mind is still disturbed. I’m worried I’m going to collapse somewhere worst still… I might fall asleep on that very spot too.

School resumes on Monday and I haven’t done anything yet as usual… waiting for the last minute to complete my work. I stayed in bed the whole afternoon but still couldn’t sleep… if this continues I have to start taking sleeping pills. I’m so tiredddddddd. Gosh I need to do something with the dark circles round my eyes… I might scare the kids with it on Monday!

Had a friendly chat with Amoi early this evening… she just got back from Kuantan today… so nice to chat with her after 1 week of absence. Vadai and Chris heading to The Ship with the gang to Yam Seng I guess…heheh. Had to skip this one out, I didn’t feel like going out… I’m more concern about getting some sleep.

Overall it’s been a boring and lazy day… nothing much to do in the house except chat and watch movies… The Decent sux.. nothing but a bunch of those Gollum dudes running around and eating people in a cave. Lets see over the week I’ve watched about 25 movie… wow… I’m having a Gong xi fa cai movie marathon. Underworld 1 and 2 is nice… watched it 7 times already… might want to watch it again later…ehhehe.

Anyway… time to go… Adios!

Mushy feelings again...

Wow…it’s quite some time since I updated my blog… it’s funny how our mood can affect us sometimes. When I started blogging I thought that I could write anything and everything that’s on my mind. It’s here that I discovered how to really express my feelings… I don’t feel comfortable telling people about it but I have open up to a few people that gained my trust…. I found it easier to write about my feelings rather then tell anyone what I’m feeling, but lately it just doesn’t seem that simple.

My personal feelings are a bit hard for me to be open about. Sometimes I feel like my life is a big secret and it’s filled with choices and sacrifices. I do feel like I’m not being honest to myself because I don’t express my self well enough. It may seem like I do when I write about it but actually it’s very indirect. I don’t know really… I try too hard I guess.

I have tried to confess my feelings and be open about it many times before… somehow it always seems like no one acknowledged it and I’m often ignored. Sometimes I feel like why even bother making an effort to express my feelings when no one takes me seriously or even care for what I have to say anyway. It’s just a waste of time.

The little things matters a lot to me. I don’t take anything for granted. I know that life is not a fairy tale and it’s very rare that anyone lives happily ever after in the end… everyone is so caught up in their daily lives they forget how to really live. I’m one of those people… I seem to have forgotten myself.

I celebrated my 28th birthday last week home alone feeling depressed and emotional and I’ve been like that the whole week. I manage to hide all that while my brother was in KL. Azie and Basil took me out for dinner on Friday for a birthday treat… it’s very sweet of them. Dinner was lovely and they really cheered me up.

My mind is restless but my body is tired. As much as I hate this feeling of being neglected I think I brought this onto myself and there is really no one to blame. I’ve never had things my way before… I don’t really know what it would be like if I did… Azie gave me a long lecture about why I give in to others and allow myself to get hurt all the time. She stressed it out so much that I shouldn’t let anyone take me for granted and why I allow them to do so. “Makan Hati” is the word she used… she said she couldn’t take it anymore seeing me like this time and time again and she doesn’t understand why I keep blaming myself and why I’m not being honest to myself. From the tone of her voice I know she means well and I am grateful she pointed it out to me.

I don’t have the courage to say what I want to because I’m still scared that my honesty would be taken the wrong way. Azie is right about me “Makan Hati” I honestly don’t know how to change that.