A Mice Weekend

I had a very interesting weekend, my sister came to visit me with her 2 daughters, her husbands niece and boyfriend BamBam *that’s his nick name of coz*. It was nice to see them, it’s been a while since I went back to Malacca.

BamBam is an animal trainer and he owns a Reptile pet shop in Malacca. He came to KL to collect his orders of 200 white mice, 50 pinky *baby mice* and 6 snakes. He uses the white mice to feed his 98 of the various snakes in his shop. I’m told that these mice can only last within a week, and next week he has to go to another supplier to get more mice for his snakes.

Yesterday I accompanied BamBam to subang The Summit to collect his supplies, along with his girlfriend Fiona and my niece Jamie. He wasn’t sure how to get there so I had to help him find his way there… I’ve been to the Summit twice before but I wasn’t sure how to get there so I called Vadai and ask for some directions… Guess what!!!! I didn’t get lost, I knew exactly where I was going but I just missed the turning into subang… heheh anyway I manage to guide him back to the exact location…not bad eh!.

We met up with the supplier opposite the Summit, funny guy.. first thing he said to us was “Oh I hope you all will like the smell… kaw kaw one!” I’ve never seen that many mice before and they look so cute especially the baby mice… so sad that they were only given life to be food for another creature. Anyway the mice were placed in 4 plastic aquariums and everything manage to fit in the back of a kancil… fuhhhh can you imagine the smell… it was wicked…hahah as soon as we got home he changed the saw dust and gave the mice water and food to eat so that they will live to the journey back home the next day to be eaten by vicious poisonous snakes.

Anyway, the mice were nicely kept inside Oscars dog house, it made him very uneasy coz he was trained to catch rats and here we are bringing dozens of mice in his territory. Oscar personally liked BamBam, maybe he can sense that BamBam was an animal lover.
My sister and gang went back home today with 250 mice and 6 snakes in the booth. The house is so quiet now without my nieces making noise playing with Oscar and now my poor doggie is feeling sad coz the lack of attention. He had a busy week anyway and now its time for him to sleep… and for me to relax.

The Heart vs. The Mind

In my last blog, I did leave a bad impression about “boyfriends” … well that was my mind speaking. It’s not really how I feel. I don’t hate the guys I use to date. I actually liked them at one point even loved them. People change and feelings changes too, I know that. Nothing we can do about it… it just happens.

My mind keeps telling me to move on, be strong… honestly I am moving on, I have no other choice but to move on. I have a strong character, I’m capable of hiding my feelings… locking all that emotion up into that tiny heart. I’m still smiling, I still laugh, I still meet up with my close friends, I still go to work and be the happy, cheerful teacher in front of my students… I am my usual self but why do I still cry myself to sleep? Why am I still thinking of that one person? *sigh* the honest truth is… I can’t let go of this feeling because I don’t want to. I care too much… whether it’s the right guy or not or whether he realize I am here or not, I don’t care, this is what I’m feeling.

What I think and feel is so different from what I want. Most of the time I’m left confused and puzzled. The little things matter a lot to me. I sympathize myself sometimes. What a life this is.

I am who I am, I am what I want myself to be. I will and always remain a fools fool, a dreamer and the queen of lost hopes.

What kind of friend are you?

lets see there are the best friend, breast friend, Good Friend, Casual Friend, net friends, buddies, Boyfriend and girlfriend. Funny as it may sound people do categorize their friend’s. We do this so that we can tell the difference between which friend we favor most and which friends we want to keep at that “friend-friend” level thingy.

Best friend’s or Breast friend’s?
Ehheeh no difference really it’s just that one has breast and the other doesn’t. Anyway that was a joke! Hmm… let’s see… I would consider my best friend to be there for me all the time, he/she will know every little detail of my life, share secrets and gossips, have a lot of things in common, share advise, a shoulder to cry on, chat or meet up with each other at certain days and hang out late at night. The kind of friend I jump you jump type and hopeless at times. But you still love them no matter what!

Good friend’s
These are the people you keep in touch with all the time, people you can trust and depend on. You look for them when you want something or need help that only they can help you with! Seems a bit cruel isn’t it! Doesn’t sound that bad really! Anyway these are the people who will do what ever they can to help you at the time in need and you would do the same for them when time comes as well.

Casual friend’s?
The “hi!” “hi” how are you friends. They don’t really give a shit about you… sometimes they don’t want anything to do with you actually, but we know them and they know us… so they cant really escape if we happen to bump into them.

Lost Buddies
The wild animals.The once in a blue moon friends… yup they appear out of no where, and before you know it you are partying with them on a Saturday night getting drunk and vomiting all over the place and not remembering each other until the next phone call few months later… ehhehe. Fun people… cool cats.

Net Friend's
Virtual friends that we chat with everyday if possible. The clowns behind the screens. Fun people.... not very vertual when we all get together but real pals. Most of the people i call friends are from the net... what a great way to find and make new friends. Now that i think about it... it's pretty amazing to get to know all these people :o)

Girlfriend’s
Well what are we really? Puppets? Dolls? Punching bags? Rubbish bins? I don’t know really…. Skip this one!

Lady friends
As a woman I like having lady friends but not so many at one time. It’s right to be a bit choosy when it comes to making friends with another lady. They can be snakes, brainwashers and boyfriend snatchers at times too. I only have a few lady friends that I am close with, respect and trust.

Boyfriends and male friend's
I’m tired of them… I prefer to just have male friends and not classify them as a boyfriends… coz once you do that it just gets you into serious shit… the first few months would be great after that it’s nothing but heart aches… well I say this because I’m just being bitter about it that’s all. What can I say I’ve had shitty experiences and I know tons of ladies who would say the same as well. The 1st comment would be “Never trust a man 100%” “they don’t mean it when they say “I Love you” what they meant is “I love your tits” or “I Love to get into your panties”. I have to admit some people do rush into these things as soon as the guy shows interest in them… well depends on the individual la. I can’t say they are idiots… but we ladies only realize that after we get dumped. It’s nice to have a male friend… just don’t mix feelings with friendship it’s not always a win-win situation.

Well hope nobody gets offended by this blog entry… well even if you did you probably deserved it…heheh anyway its just ME I don’t speak for majority…heheh just having fun expressing myself… cheers!

One in a million

My normal Sunday routine is go to the market with my mother then have breakfast at my regular Chinese chicken rice shop, drive my mother to all her favorite 4D outlets KTM (Kuda Toto Magnum not Keretapi Tanah Melayu), then go to giant and buy our weekly groceries, go to gym and do some workout, then go for dinner with Ozy. But today was a bit different, I skipped the gym and decided to stay home for a change.

I turned on the TV and saw this program called “1 in a million” I’ve heard of it and seen the advertisement about it. Basically it’s just another star search TV show hoping to discover new talents. However I was surprise to see a few local artist who were also going for the audition, yes they are allowed to but.. Now we are looking at local artist who already have a recording contact and had produced their own albums in the past. We already know this people can sing and they are already singed to a recording company. Why do they want to participate in this competition? Hmmm interesting question… the catch is “1 million ringgit!” I think they plain selfish. They are quite confident that they have a better chance of winning this competition and they already have a their strong supporters to make sure they go all the way to the top. I strongly feel that it’s not fair. What about the normal people who are already in this competition? They are going to face the fact that they are going up against the local artist who are already trained by professional vocal coach. What chances do they have in this competition?

Can you imagine if this person gets kicked out of the competition? It’s embarrassing. They already have talent and everyone knows they can sing… the recording labels have already acknowledged them that’s why they have their own albums and contracts! The producers and sponsors of this show should just cancel this show.. give the 1 million to Jaclyn Victor, produce and international cover album for her… that’s worth the money!

I just feel that it’s ridiculous that these local artist for even enrolling themselves into this competition. They already have a career, they had their shiny moment in the spot light… show some professionalism… give these new talents a break and let them shine!

We are treated the way we deserve to be treated! good thing or bad?

Time and time again I often ask myself what I want to do with this life. The more I think about it the more I feel like I am just wasting my time and waiting for it to end. I’m the type of person who thinks about all kinds of things, it just never ends. I don’t get over it as easily as anyone else I suppose or maybe my way of dealing with certain issues takes a longer time dissolve and it’s normally very taxing.

The honest truth is I’m a wreck. I’m 28 years old, single, dont want to get married, jilted, financially unstable, a bitter and miserable woman. I’ve always believed in love, I believed it so much that I let it get the best of me. Was it ever a bad thing to want to fall in love? I use to think that it’s a wonderful thing to experience. I hope I still feel that way. The longer I wait for that to happen again, I’m afraid I will end up watching that part of me died slowly and painfully. I know I’m not the only one, I know there are people who can relate to a similar experience. It’s just sad that this is reality… lets face it, this life is no fairy tale.

What can I say… I screwed up? I somehow find myself having a relationship where I end up heart broken. The guys I date always seem to take advantage of my feelings towards them. I’ve been a fool in the past and I never seem to learn my lesson. No one will ever take me seriously, show respect or accept me for who I am or even understand me at all. They come into my life, try to change me then leave as an when they please, take me for granted then treat me like I was yesterdays old newspaper. Some one once told me “You are treated the way you deserved to be treated” there is good and bad in that saying. I think back now and I wonder is this how I deserve to be treated?

Honestly I am very angry on the inside, I am angry because I don’t know the reason why I am treated this way. If not for my own principles I would have exploded a long time ago, my passion and respect stops me from becoming like the people I hate. You know what the problem is.. Man think they know everything about a woman and a woman thinks she knows everything about a man… well I think none of us even have a clue about each other. I don’t blame the gender… I think the individual have issues to settle.

Questions
~Is it so difficult to tell someone that you have no intentions to continue the relationship anymore?
~Is it so hard to be honest to yourself and to your partner?
~If the easiest way for you to just leave it and walk away?
~Do you think it would be easier for your partner to deal with the break up if he/she knew the reason why?

(sigh) add on to the list if you please
Anyway, I’m tired and its time to sleep… adios.