We are treated the way we deserve to be treated! good thing or bad?
Time and time again I often ask myself what I want to do with this life. The more I think about it the more I feel like I am just wasting my time and waiting for it to end. I’m the type of person who thinks about all kinds of things, it just never ends. I don’t get over it as easily as anyone else I suppose or maybe my way of dealing with certain issues takes a longer time dissolve and it’s normally very taxing.
The honest truth is I’m a wreck. I’m 28 years old, single, dont want to get married, jilted, financially unstable, a bitter and miserable woman. I’ve always believed in love, I believed it so much that I let it get the best of me. Was it ever a bad thing to want to fall in love? I use to think that it’s a wonderful thing to experience. I hope I still feel that way. The longer I wait for that to happen again, I’m afraid I will end up watching that part of me died slowly and painfully. I know I’m not the only one, I know there are people who can relate to a similar experience. It’s just sad that this is reality… lets face it, this life is no fairy tale.
What can I say… I screwed up? I somehow find myself having a relationship where I end up heart broken. The guys I date always seem to take advantage of my feelings towards them. I’ve been a fool in the past and I never seem to learn my lesson. No one will ever take me seriously, show respect or accept me for who I am or even understand me at all. They come into my life, try to change me then leave as an when they please, take me for granted then treat me like I was yesterdays old newspaper. Some one once told me “You are treated the way you deserved to be treated” there is good and bad in that saying. I think back now and I wonder is this how I deserve to be treated?
Honestly I am very angry on the inside, I am angry because I don’t know the reason why I am treated this way. If not for my own principles I would have exploded a long time ago, my passion and respect stops me from becoming like the people I hate. You know what the problem is.. Man think they know everything about a woman and a woman thinks she knows everything about a man… well I think none of us even have a clue about each other. I don’t blame the gender… I think the individual have issues to settle.
Questions
~Is it so difficult to tell someone that you have no intentions to continue the relationship anymore?
~Is it so hard to be honest to yourself and to your partner?
~If the easiest way for you to just leave it and walk away?
~Do you think it would be easier for your partner to deal with the break up if he/she knew the reason why?
(sigh) add on to the list if you please
Anyway, I’m tired and its time to sleep… adios.
posted by marie @ 2:01 AM
8 Comments:
Firstly We all love you gorgeous.
1. It always difficult to tell someone and u start making concessions and alternatives but sooner or later a line must be drawn. You have that power in you hands of ending the chapter and beginning a new one. Nobody in life will tell you its easy, once you do it, it gets easier.
2. It a diffcult question to answer. The primary objective it not wanting the partner to get hurt so white lies and deflection come into play. Truth seem so simple but at the same time so diffuclt to address. It is hard for all the right and wrong reasons.
3. Never easy, we need somethign to fall back on, fren, family, work, the reason it we need to deflect the attention...somethign to take up that empty space.. I did it once and I look back at time and wish it was different but circumstance, people make that dicision rigth at that time. Likewise, we will never know if that is the right option but it is an option that must be explore. For me I dun think its an easy way to walk away. Its tough but if its got to be done , it must be done then
4. No. The basis of the breakup is primarily for you. It should be beneficial to you. Partner is secondary, weather the partner know, accepts, recognises, acknowledges does not matter. When we start considering for the partner then your personal goals get overridden. In my opinion, we must take care of outselves 1st b4 we think of the partner. cruel but its a fact. The partner can know the reason next week, year, hehehe firstly the 1st hurdel must be cleared
We still love you.
Hi Marie
As a woman the questions you ask...i understand much too well. Over time i have learned as much as we are strong we cant make the other stronger.
They need to find their own strength.
Primaryly you see it in man- its called 'guilt'- many dont like the word as its a negative emotion. But if treated as just emotion rather than looking at it negatively the process would be easier for both parties.if guilt comes into play 'open communication' will be shut down. To share with you earlier on in life i didnt know how important closure is it buried me deeper & deeper into otr rls as i was still carrying much anger n pain n let myself to b unrespected by family friends n bfs. You grow you learn you re-adjust-this time i asked for a closure n he valued n respected me enuff to give me one-god bless him.
Dont carry your pain n anger from one rl to antr.If you think you need to ask those questions to the one in question ask him for a closure. If he says no - hey that shows what he is all about and take it as blessing.
Vadai's words are true from a man's view- read it take it & forgive from the heart.
Aint easy but you have the strength of good friends around you.
cheers and huggsss to Oscar.
the truth behind the white lie, is a sad excuse. but i guess thats reality. why bother about the truth then, lets just lie our way through life its so much easier. but still a very sad option to choose from.
i disagree with you on no.4 tho i think it would make a difference and it would be easier for ur partner to deal with it is the truth. bcoz thats the actual reason and no other reason. your partner dont need to dwell over or be jilted by not knowing the real reason of the break up. in my opinion by telling them.. u will actually save them from dissapointment.
FV me man me no think for woman hahahah
XXxieee glass half empty halff full in the end there are not exact truth to it just accept solutions
i cant agree more with you on No 4, Marie. Sadly not many believe in 'truth' anymore. And ones who ask for it are always cast away. The bitter answer is - if someone loves and respects us that much they would tell us the truth and know truth is will set us free. Its much easier to think - they never did have that feelings for us.
dear Anonymous,
sometimes i feel like i'm a fool because i believe in the truth and honesty is all you need in having a healthy relationship with some one. at time i feel im the only one who is being honest and it makes me sad.
thanks for your comments.
1. ask for a better commitment, test it with a little give & take.
2. Its human nature not to be honest, helps not to hurt someone & hope the problem fades away.
3. Actually, Im affraid that this solves the problem quickly. But life is not simple & feelings will always change this decision.
4. It would be better sometimes if its constructive, but most of the time its about a third party. So you choose. Just move on.
Uncle Tooth
Marie Marie... i love u too... nupe... u do not deserve how those ppl treated u.. they r just not worth ur time.. u deserve someone better than those rotten bad grapes... U r a very nice girl.. i believe u will meet someone who treat u and pampers u like a princess... trusts urself and God... u will eventually find happiness... dont dwell so much in the past... they r not worth ur time... Love u!
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