must i always have a title for a new blog entry?

I walked pass Petaling street yesterday and I cant help noticing the beautiful fresh flowers they were selling. The faint aroma and the lovely colours is just so attractive. I was tempted to buy some for the house in the end I didn’t buy any because it would only last a few days. It’s sad that beauty doesn’t last forever just like everything else, nothing last forever actually…. Life, love, friends, pet, money, hair colour… etc.. etc.

If everyone lived forever then this world will just be over populated. We can’t all live an immortal life, with what goes on in this world these days I don’t think people want to live that long anyway. We don’t know what fate has installed for us, or know the real reason why we are here in the first place. I don’t know.. I often feel that there is more to it.. like we have a purpose to fulfill to earn our place here or something like that.

I had a dream on Tuesday… it was an odd dream. I saw myself in a boat and in front of me I saw what seem to me was the crucifix, I used the oars to paddle the boat but it didn’t move at all. I swam to it and it sank in the water. I thought to myself that I’m not a good swimmer and if I fallow it down I would drown… but if I swim to my boat I would end up no where. So in my dream I closed my eyes and I dived in the water because I felt the need to follow it, when I opened my eyes I was in a chapel with nothing but statues and the largest crucifix I had ever seen. I remember feeling like a thousand knifes stabbed in my heart I felt a pain I have never felt before.. I don’t know if I can even describe that feeling. I know the pain was too much to bare that I fell to the ground on my knees and crawling in the chapel. The next thing I remembered from that dream is me standing up with tears in my eyes not because I felt the pain but I was amazed by the magnificence of witnessing such a place.

I told my mother the dream when I woke up… the first thing she said was “see god telling you to go to church today Ash Wednesday” hehe… well it will make her happy if I did…but I feel that, that is not the reason.

Hmm.. this is what it may mean :~
Water, fire/light, air and earth is all signs of life. In this case water is life.
The boat is my option or alternative and diving in the water is my choice.
The chapel is symbol of enlightment.
The crucifix is symbols of sincerity, pureness, believes and love.
The pain that I felt in my heart is simply just obstacles in life, it may hurt at times but it doesn’t mean it’s the end of all things.
Tears related to emotions.

Add all that up…. I might just know what my dream really means or my mother could be right… I should consider going back to church!..... NOT!!