Father's Day
Fathers day is coming soon… it’s that time of year again where we pay tribute to our Dearest Dad!! My father was my world, my role model, my friend, a man I truly admire, respect and love very much. He was a very patient, friendly and kind person, he would always offer help to those who are in need. Money was no object to him, he gave most of my cousins *from my mothers side* a good education and good jobs. But sadly they grew up to be very ungrateful people, I will story about them later!
We moved to Malacca in 1983, I was only 5 years old then. My parents renovated and extended my grandfather’s house and that was our new home. when i was 8 years old, my father had diabetes and later was diagnosed with stroke. His condition was quite serious he was 60 years old and retired. My mother spent everything for his medical bills and because we were not wealthy anymore those who my father once helped give a good education and a bright future, turned their backs on us. He didn’t want to continue his treatment because the cost was too much and he was more concern about the family. A good education is something he took very seriously and that was his major concern. I remember him explaining it to me “some pain we just have to live with” it didn’t make sense to me then but it does now.
We moved to Malacca in 1983, I was only 5 years old then. My parents renovated and extended my grandfather’s house and that was our new home. when i was 8 years old, my father had diabetes and later was diagnosed with stroke. His condition was quite serious he was 60 years old and retired. My mother spent everything for his medical bills and because we were not wealthy anymore those who my father once helped give a good education and a bright future, turned their backs on us. He didn’t want to continue his treatment because the cost was too much and he was more concern about the family. A good education is something he took very seriously and that was his major concern. I remember him explaining it to me “some pain we just have to live with” it didn’t make sense to me then but it does now.
We were all still in school then, my eldest brothers aged 16 and 11, my sister 13 years old. My father looked after us while my mother worked in a restaurant. We had a lot of fun with him, he made sure we all finish our school work, go out and play, come home and take a shower and clean up the mess before my mother got back from work. Even though we were not RICH!!! We had loads of fun, life was so much simple then at least that’s what I remember.
My father use to tell us stories when he was a child and he always shared his memorable experiences with us. He had a great sense of humor and he always made us laugh. He loves cars so much, he use to talk about his racing experience all the time, the way he says it’s like I can really imagine what it’s like as if I was there. I remember he would take us to the beach every Sunday without fail and he will drag all my brother’s friends to come too, they were very close to him and treated him with respect like their own father. 10 of us in one car hahaha… like in the circus!! I remember my brother’s friend passing air in the car and my father screaming “My god!! Who farted?? Smell like a dead RAT!!! Get out of the car!!!” hahahah… we joked about it every time we go to the beach…. and somehow ironically one idiot will fart every time!!
My eldest brother moved to Singapore 1988 to work and help support the family *he was 17 years old*. A friend of his recommended a good job, he continued his studies there and has been with the same company ever since then, my father was so proud of him. That same year my aunty offered my mother to work for her and move the family to KL. My sister decided to work at a hair dressing salon, also with the intention to help support the family. I was 10 years old and the lifestyle here was so different for me and my brother Clifton, I felt out of place the whole time as I was growing up because I was so attached to my father. I stayed at home and looked after him while all my friends were out playing. I always worried if I left him alone something might happen to him or he might fall.
My father was my best friend, my brother and I would do all kinds of things to him when he falls asleep on the sofa. We would painted his toe nails red, tie him to the sofa, or tickle his ear.. he would wake up laughing and saying “You 2 have nothing better to do??” heheheh he’s so cool. We played hide and seek once… and it was his turn to hide, he made us count to 200… my brother and I was arguing coz we kept loosing count, we got fed up and decided to play something else, after an hour we realized that my father was missing.. we looked all over the place and couldn’t find him… we both panic!! I opened my room and notice his feet sticking out under the bed… heheh he fell asleep waiting for us to find him, our laughter woke him up, we helped him up and he said “I should have asked the 2 of you to count to 1000!” hahahah
My sister got married at an early age. My father’s condition had worsen he couldn’t stand or walk very long with out any assistance. My brother gave my sister away at the wedding ceremony and I was the bride’s maid at 13 years old. My sister and her husband moved to Malacca and the year after that they were blessed with a baby girl. I remember seeing my father cry when he held Jamie in his arms the first time “My Granddaughter” he said…, he was so happy and the joy of that moment still makes me cry up to today. He used to wait outside each time my sister or brother comes to visit us. I remember my mother asking him to come inside and he would just refuse and say “wait la!” …heheheh my father use to brag how proud he is for both my brother and sister.
When my brother Clifton turned 17 he also went to Singapore to join my eldest brother, there he found work as a technician. My father missed him a lot it was so different with out him, he use to do all kinds of silly things to entertain us.
I was 14 years old then, I use to walk to school everyday and hurry back when school is over. I worry about leaving my father at home a lot, my worries distracted me. I would go home… prepare some food and have lunch together. I would chase him off to sleep so that I can clean the house before my mother came back. She normally comes home at 5pm and then cook for my relatives who lived near by. My mother loves to cook but it made her very tired and I pity her so much but that’s another story!. During this time my father had a second stroke and this time he was weaker then before and he hardly could walk. He soon occupied the room downstairs and that’s where he spends most of my time watching TV. He use to enjoy having his breakfast in bed every weekend, I would surprise him with coffee, juice, eggs, toasted bread and bacon. As I grew older he used to tell me about his life and what he has achieved over the years. He spoke to me about his real family. That’s when I found out that he was adopted and his real mother is Japanese and father is an Indian. He didn’t want to find his real parents because he was happy with the family who raised him. They loved him so much and gave him everything he needed. Then it strikes my mind “no wonder your brother and sisters look so different!!” heheh he just laughed. He told me his father made his family promise not to cry but to celebrate his death, right then he said “ I don’t want none of my children crying for me also, I want to die in peace” I got angry and said to him “ don’t talk rubbish la.. you’ll live forever” I didn’t want to accept the fact that death comes to all of us.
My sister had another baby boy, Glenn was born on the 9th of July1994. My sister, Glenn and her daughter Jamie who had turned 3 years old, would come often to visit us. That same year my father had suffered a 3rd stroke, he was bedridden and lost his speech. That was very stressful for me because I thought of nothing but him when I was in school.
Every morning before I go to school my mother would feed him breakfast and I had to rush home to give him a bath, change him and feed him his lunch that was my everyday routine. In November my father suffered another stroke attack and he refused to be admitted in the hospital. My father’s nephew who was a doctor came to see him and put him on drips. I had to learn how to change it because no one else dared to do it. For 1 week my father relied on drips it made me so sad to see him like that. We had prayer groups coming every night to pray for his recovery. Both my brothers took leave from work and took turns watching over him at night. I over heard my mother, sister and brother’s talking downstairs they wanted me to stop school to look after my father, I was so angry and shouted at them for thinking so negatively, I told them that he will be ok by the time school resumes. They just kept quiet because they accepted the fact that he is not going to recover. Part of me didn't want to leave school because of my friends..I went upstairs to change the drips... my father looked at me and cried, my heart melted as I dried his tears. I soon accepted the fact that I had to sacrifice my education for him. The 7th my father had regain his strength and he was off the drips.. it was like a miracle, my brothers gave him a bath and my mother changed him... I went upstairs with his dinner and was about to feed him. My father looked at me and smiled, he tap on my lap and said “poor thing” he said it so clearly I smiled and feed him his dinner. That evening my brother had to go back to Singapore he pleaded to his superior to give him 2 more days leave but it was denied he was forced to go back. Before I went to sleep I prayed and thanked god for his recovery. I was woken up the next morning by my mother saying that my father had past away. I had the worst shock of my life, I walked into his room right next to mine and saw him sleeping so peacefully. I didn’t shade a tear some how I felt that he is at peace. I called my brother Clifton and broke the news to him. He was so angry he fought with his superior and left the company. I remembered what my father said to me and it seems he told everyone else the same thing too, not to cry at his funeral. As I was saying the last prayer on behalf of the family, my eldest brother started crying and soon all of us broke down into tears and just poured out our hearts. My mother cried so much, we were strong for her we laid him to rest in Malacca 10th November 1994. My father died at the age of 68 years old. My life has never been the same after that… I miss him... still
My eldest brother moved to Singapore 1988 to work and help support the family *he was 17 years old*. A friend of his recommended a good job, he continued his studies there and has been with the same company ever since then, my father was so proud of him. That same year my aunty offered my mother to work for her and move the family to KL. My sister decided to work at a hair dressing salon, also with the intention to help support the family. I was 10 years old and the lifestyle here was so different for me and my brother Clifton, I felt out of place the whole time as I was growing up because I was so attached to my father. I stayed at home and looked after him while all my friends were out playing. I always worried if I left him alone something might happen to him or he might fall.
My father was my best friend, my brother and I would do all kinds of things to him when he falls asleep on the sofa. We would painted his toe nails red, tie him to the sofa, or tickle his ear.. he would wake up laughing and saying “You 2 have nothing better to do??” heheheh he’s so cool. We played hide and seek once… and it was his turn to hide, he made us count to 200… my brother and I was arguing coz we kept loosing count, we got fed up and decided to play something else, after an hour we realized that my father was missing.. we looked all over the place and couldn’t find him… we both panic!! I opened my room and notice his feet sticking out under the bed… heheh he fell asleep waiting for us to find him, our laughter woke him up, we helped him up and he said “I should have asked the 2 of you to count to 1000!” hahahah
My sister got married at an early age. My father’s condition had worsen he couldn’t stand or walk very long with out any assistance. My brother gave my sister away at the wedding ceremony and I was the bride’s maid at 13 years old. My sister and her husband moved to Malacca and the year after that they were blessed with a baby girl. I remember seeing my father cry when he held Jamie in his arms the first time “My Granddaughter” he said…, he was so happy and the joy of that moment still makes me cry up to today. He used to wait outside each time my sister or brother comes to visit us. I remember my mother asking him to come inside and he would just refuse and say “wait la!” …heheheh my father use to brag how proud he is for both my brother and sister.
When my brother Clifton turned 17 he also went to Singapore to join my eldest brother, there he found work as a technician. My father missed him a lot it was so different with out him, he use to do all kinds of silly things to entertain us.
I was 14 years old then, I use to walk to school everyday and hurry back when school is over. I worry about leaving my father at home a lot, my worries distracted me. I would go home… prepare some food and have lunch together. I would chase him off to sleep so that I can clean the house before my mother came back. She normally comes home at 5pm and then cook for my relatives who lived near by. My mother loves to cook but it made her very tired and I pity her so much but that’s another story!. During this time my father had a second stroke and this time he was weaker then before and he hardly could walk. He soon occupied the room downstairs and that’s where he spends most of my time watching TV. He use to enjoy having his breakfast in bed every weekend, I would surprise him with coffee, juice, eggs, toasted bread and bacon. As I grew older he used to tell me about his life and what he has achieved over the years. He spoke to me about his real family. That’s when I found out that he was adopted and his real mother is Japanese and father is an Indian. He didn’t want to find his real parents because he was happy with the family who raised him. They loved him so much and gave him everything he needed. Then it strikes my mind “no wonder your brother and sisters look so different!!” heheh he just laughed. He told me his father made his family promise not to cry but to celebrate his death, right then he said “ I don’t want none of my children crying for me also, I want to die in peace” I got angry and said to him “ don’t talk rubbish la.. you’ll live forever” I didn’t want to accept the fact that death comes to all of us.
My sister had another baby boy, Glenn was born on the 9th of July1994. My sister, Glenn and her daughter Jamie who had turned 3 years old, would come often to visit us. That same year my father had suffered a 3rd stroke, he was bedridden and lost his speech. That was very stressful for me because I thought of nothing but him when I was in school.
Every morning before I go to school my mother would feed him breakfast and I had to rush home to give him a bath, change him and feed him his lunch that was my everyday routine. In November my father suffered another stroke attack and he refused to be admitted in the hospital. My father’s nephew who was a doctor came to see him and put him on drips. I had to learn how to change it because no one else dared to do it. For 1 week my father relied on drips it made me so sad to see him like that. We had prayer groups coming every night to pray for his recovery. Both my brothers took leave from work and took turns watching over him at night. I over heard my mother, sister and brother’s talking downstairs they wanted me to stop school to look after my father, I was so angry and shouted at them for thinking so negatively, I told them that he will be ok by the time school resumes. They just kept quiet because they accepted the fact that he is not going to recover. Part of me didn't want to leave school because of my friends..I went upstairs to change the drips... my father looked at me and cried, my heart melted as I dried his tears. I soon accepted the fact that I had to sacrifice my education for him. The 7th my father had regain his strength and he was off the drips.. it was like a miracle, my brothers gave him a bath and my mother changed him... I went upstairs with his dinner and was about to feed him. My father looked at me and smiled, he tap on my lap and said “poor thing” he said it so clearly I smiled and feed him his dinner. That evening my brother had to go back to Singapore he pleaded to his superior to give him 2 more days leave but it was denied he was forced to go back. Before I went to sleep I prayed and thanked god for his recovery. I was woken up the next morning by my mother saying that my father had past away. I had the worst shock of my life, I walked into his room right next to mine and saw him sleeping so peacefully. I didn’t shade a tear some how I felt that he is at peace. I called my brother Clifton and broke the news to him. He was so angry he fought with his superior and left the company. I remembered what my father said to me and it seems he told everyone else the same thing too, not to cry at his funeral. As I was saying the last prayer on behalf of the family, my eldest brother started crying and soon all of us broke down into tears and just poured out our hearts. My mother cried so much, we were strong for her we laid him to rest in Malacca 10th November 1994. My father died at the age of 68 years old. My life has never been the same after that… I miss him... still
In loving memory of “Clifford John Fernandez”
Happy Father’s Day
posted by marie @ 7:56 PM
1 Comments:
Dear dear Marie,
that's an awesome tribute to your dad.Am veri sure that you still miss him and I am confident the memories will continue to linger on. But life goes on, and you know you gotta take charge of that. I wrote a piece on death today.it is indeed inevitable. Make sure that you learn and remember what lessons your Dad has taught, and keep his legacy.my hope n prayer is that you stay strong to carry on and that you will haf family and good friends wif ya.
Thanks for writing these. slowly but surely getting to know you more.
talk to you soon
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