Just Words...

I wrote this post a few weeks ago... but I somehow didn't want to post it... I'm not good at writing poems... when I try to rhyme certain words it just don't sound right to me, so this is not a poem... just words I guess..

We don't always get to say the things we want to, to the people that actually matter in our life. I find it hard sometimes especially if it's a guy, I've tried and failed a few times before. The message that I am trying to convey does not come out the way I wanted it to and end up messing a perfectly good relationship only to be misunderstood. Most of the time I choose not to say anything... and end up writing blogs like these to actually express what I really want to say but by then it's already too late.. I rather feel depress then relieve... very pathetic actually.

I know there is only one shot to make things right but sometimes it's just not meant to be. Sometimes the best thing to do is not say anything. Tell your heart that he was never yours. Be happy for him and the person that he is with. The reason he choose her and not you is because he wants to be with her and not you. If you really love him you would let him go.. there is no point loving someone who can not love you in return. If I had the balls.. which I don't.. I would like to say these words... It may not mean anything at all... like I said it's just words...


Me, I'm scared of everything,
I'm scared of who I am,
what to say and what to do,
but most of all I am scared of walking out of this room,
and never feeling for the rest of my life,
the way I feel when I'm with you.

I'm not supposed to be here,
I'm not supposed to care,
I'm not supposed to live my life wishing you were there,
I'm not supposed to wonder where you are or what you do or who you are with,
I'm not supposed to feel this way.. but I do.
from the moment I met you... I knew,
I am not suppose to fall in love with you,
but I did.

All I want is to see you smile,
It melts my heart each time you do,
All I could wish for is just one kiss,
that alone is my only wish,

The sound of your laughter and the look in your eyes,
brightens up my day even at the darkest hour,
I wish I could tell you but sadly I just realized,
I'm not made to suit your desire,

You will always be special and only I will know why,
you will always be the one and only guy,
the memories we have i will not forget,
Every moment we spent I will cherish it till death

I must put my feelings aside now,
and tell my heart to let you go,
but that does not mean I do not love you anymore,
the love I have for you is more the my heart can endure,

you are and always will be My Life, My World , My Angel,
Do not hate me or part from me.. it will cause great pain,
and pain is something I can not bare,
This pain I speak of is killing what is left of me,
I fear it because whatever that is left of me is YOU.